MY THRIFTY SPENDY FATHER

My father loved cheap things. He was not poverty-stricken but he came from as he usually told us a wealthy family but that wealth never stayed in their family. It fluctuated and fluctuated till it finally left them and then he had to become prudent by buying cheap clothes, shoes, furniture and other things. Whenever we asked him for money, he begins an hour-long-standing-ovation-lecture on how he grew up in Borno and how he almost became an almajiri until he leaned the art of substituting quality items for cheap ones. “My father was wealthy.” 

  He would begin sitting in his favourite share and chewing his bitter kola. “But he was so extravagant and then we couldn’t afford two square meals a day.

We did not live in a flat, he built a house and we all had our rooms ensuite with bathrooms. 

 He said it was cheaper than paying rent for the rest of your life. The day after our big white and black television spoilt which was one he had bought at a garage sale he came back with a bigger one yet another from a garage sale.

“This one will last very well.” Reminder: the previous one lasted for one month.

“ The seller said it is called LCD and you wouldn’t believe I got it for just five thousand Naira.”

“Yekpa!” I exclaimed in my head.

“Haba, who sells LCD for five thousand Naira?”My elder brother Onyempa asked.

“Probably in second grade okrika.” I replied

“More like fifth grade okrika.” My mother who has been silent chirped in. Two days later, the LCD caught fire while we were watching UEFA Champions league finals. We took it for repairs and we found lumps of fufu being used to fuse the wires together.

After the first two rains the next year, my father travelled and came back bearing presents for us. We were all beaming with joy that you could see my cheeks shining even in darkness. 

He never brought gifts. He brought only necessaries. We all sat down in the living room anticipating as he set out to unpack his bag of goodies. He took his time and for fifteen minutes we watched him untie the knots to the goodie bag.

 I whispered to Onyempa, “I have a feeling this will be good maybe iphones,  ipads, ps4 or even that Nike sneakers I have been requesting for.”

“You wish.” He replied and continued typing away on his phone.

“Kids, here is what I got for you. Rain boots and rain coats! Strong rubber rain boots made just for walking on Lagos streets. You know what this means?” my father stood up bearing our ‘gifts’

We shook our heads in response.

“It means, no more rides to and fro to school or calling to be picked up.” He said and began giving us our rain boots and coats in different colours. I collected mine and without a second glance, left the sitting room.

When my father died, he left trust funds for all of us and in his will he wrote “I was laying a foundation for you. Don’t be like me because my actions were old school. Instead learn to save and invest wisely.”