SOS: No Currency Found on Timbu.com

Just the other day, I was going through the HNG internship 5 slack channel when this notification came in. Before this, I was part of the over 760 persons that made it to stage 1 of the internship. There was a new task to be completed as soon as possible. The task was to find and report any bug found on www.timbu.com. Timbu is an online directory for tourism, visa, travels etc.

If you are still new here, a bug in software development means an anomaly in the behaviour, structure, style and responsiveness of a website. It could be a broken link, a misspelt word, a large image taking too long to load.

After so much time figuring out a bug, I finally found one. Phew! Software testers sure do have a lot of work to do. I found out that the currency logo when viewing the website on mobile does not display properly for example here →https://timbu.com/italy/rooms/rome. A visitor is unable to detect the currency of the price of the hotel rooms.

This is my bug finding story.

PAKO

     Last year when I was interning, I usually took the normal route to work but after a while, it became financially burdensome on me. I asked and found there was a cheaper route to work. That route involved a lot of walking and passing through Pako.

Pako is a wooden bridge(for humans and sometimes vehicles) built over a canal or river. There was a condition to that. Anybody familiar with Lagos State will know that there is no free road in Lagos, including Under-Bridge and paths along the main roads. To cross to the other side, there were men waiting for me to hand over the huge sum of 10 Naira twice a day.

At first, it did not seem that giving out 20 Naira a day was a big deal until one day I realised that I had spent more than 500 Naira in one month just for walking a bridge. In a year, I would have spent 6000 Naira. I decided it was time to apply financial wisdom to the situation. I started watching the actions of those who passed without paying. I watched and learnt. the first time I tried to pass without paying, let's say it was unsuccessful. I figured that if I brought out a 500 Naira or 1000 Naira note, they would not have the balance. It worked but I had to find a permanent solution.  I had to appeal to the human side of the 'tax collectors' using my charm and voice. Anytime I passed, I ensure I greeted whoever was in charge to the hearing of everyone and asked after their welfare. It worked the first time and subsequently.

Sometimes, it may seem that you can not get through a situation but there is always a way. Appeal to the human side always work even to the most wicked soul on Earth.

ALWAYS A FIRST TIME

     Today was a day of many firsts for me.  I made my first appearance in Court as a Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria. At that moment, I felt really proud of myself and exhaled deeply. Beginning of this year, I always felt sad whenever I came across pictures of my colleagues in court with interesting captions. At that time, I had no idea of where I was going to work. I contemplated going into a company and applied for some company jobs. But there was always this nagging voice that came at me, 'So you don't want to wear your wig and gown after spending so much money.' It was painful considering the amount of time, study, efforts and money I spent.Thinking of it now, I plan to drop the wig and gown in about a year or two. 

      Secondly, I saw a passenger-coach train passing at |Ebute-Metta. It was my first time. Watching the train as it passed by was so surreal. I was fixed rooted to a spot till the train passed by. the train was not as fast as I imagined it would be but it was really long with many coaches. However, it did not look as half as fine as the trains advertised on TV. If we had a functional railway system in Nigeria, I would not feel much dread as I usually feel whenever I want to leave the house. 
     I met one of my classmates in Court today and we had a pretty long conversation on the disappointment we felt having entered into the profession. But we were hopeful. There are so many things one can do with a law degree and we must not all practice or go to court.

A pretty good start for a week.

Hasta luego!!!

I Finally Made It Here Again

I am welcoming myself after 3 years of running away from this blog. I used excuses such as Law School, life etc as reasons why I went AWOL. Anyway, I am back and I am rebranding. I have decided to bare my soul here, track my daily sojourn o this earth, experiences, life lessons, career paths and everything that has to do with me. I plan to update this space daily by God's grace.

Now to the story so far:

After university and while waiting for admission into the Nigerian Law School, I went to Lagos. While in Lagos, I discovered programming. I talked to my brother's friend then and now a friend and a subtle mentor(he does not know that anyway), I started this journey. I started learning how to code, spending night and day coding, not deterred by the ecliptic power supply and poor internet connectivity.  I had to be up every night to make use of MTN's daily night plan of 25 Naira. I used my family's dinning table as my work space. 

At that moment, I was studying really hard to get into Andela. that didn't happen though. Andela had this condition that you must have obtained your NYSC Discharge Certificate, but that was not all. My mother had this dream of being 'Mama lawyer' (dream accomplished *winks), we were trying to raise my Law School fees and not to disappoint her, I dropped the dream of working at Andela and started focusing on Law School.  This was 2016.

One of those nights in Classroom 72

New hair

Convocation party

Modelling

First Law School cocktail party

When you need to use that snapchat filter to model yaself

Birthday,, Yaaay!!!!!1

I eventually got into Law School and went through a mechanical year of reading, listening, lectures, listening, reading and reading again. I had to turn down social events, calls e.t.c. However, I attended a BOT party organized by Facebook Developer Crircle, Lagos( my friend Cent is a lead). It was my first Tech meet up and I went there without a laptop. I was lost doing the codelab session. I learnt an important lesson. Law Shool was interesting. I challenged myself academically, stuck with my timetable, avoided distractions and made it. Salute Effua F Esq( drum rolls pleaseeeeee!).

After Law School, I found myself a job as an intern at a Law Firm in Lagos. However, it was time to re-ignite the tech spirit in me. I attended tech events, discussions and meet ups. i started learning coding using freecodeCamp but shamefully(hides face), I ran away from completing the final project.

Anyway, I finally got myself into ALC 2.0 for the web beginners course. I started pretty late, had a couple of challenges and I don't think I am going to be able to complete the final project. I don't have a phone, no internet. I had to put myself in an AI(Artificial Intelligence) Hackathon I know nothing about just so I can use the Wifi. I am currently using it to update my blog.

Tomorrow is the start of another working week(sighs). I am going to tell you about the awesome people I met at Facebook Developer's Circle, my health scare this year, NYSC journey. 

We are being called for the final presentation. Wish my team luck..

Ciao, Hasta luego!!!

MY THRIFTY SPENDY FATHER

My father loved cheap things. He was not poverty-stricken but he came from as he usually told us a wealthy family but that wealth never stayed in their family. It fluctuated and fluctuated till it finally left them and then he had to become prudent by buying cheap clothes, shoes, furniture and other things. Whenever we asked him for money, he begins an hour-long-standing-ovation-lecture on how he grew up in Borno and how he almost became an almajiri until he leaned the art of substituting quality items for cheap ones. “My father was wealthy.” 

  He would begin sitting in his favourite share and chewing his bitter kola. “But he was so extravagant and then we couldn’t afford two square meals a day.

We did not live in a flat, he built a house and we all had our rooms ensuite with bathrooms. 

 He said it was cheaper than paying rent for the rest of your life. The day after our big white and black television spoilt which was one he had bought at a garage sale he came back with a bigger one yet another from a garage sale.

“This one will last very well.” Reminder: the previous one lasted for one month.

“ The seller said it is called LCD and you wouldn’t believe I got it for just five thousand Naira.”

“Yekpa!” I exclaimed in my head.

“Haba, who sells LCD for five thousand Naira?”My elder brother Onyempa asked.

“Probably in second grade okrika.” I replied

“More like fifth grade okrika.” My mother who has been silent chirped in. Two days later, the LCD caught fire while we were watching UEFA Champions league finals. We took it for repairs and we found lumps of fufu being used to fuse the wires together.

After the first two rains the next year, my father travelled and came back bearing presents for us. We were all beaming with joy that you could see my cheeks shining even in darkness. 

He never brought gifts. He brought only necessaries. We all sat down in the living room anticipating as he set out to unpack his bag of goodies. He took his time and for fifteen minutes we watched him untie the knots to the goodie bag.

 I whispered to Onyempa, “I have a feeling this will be good maybe iphones,  ipads, ps4 or even that Nike sneakers I have been requesting for.”

“You wish.” He replied and continued typing away on his phone.

“Kids, here is what I got for you. Rain boots and rain coats! Strong rubber rain boots made just for walking on Lagos streets. You know what this means?” my father stood up bearing our ‘gifts’

We shook our heads in response.

“It means, no more rides to and fro to school or calling to be picked up.” He said and began giving us our rain boots and coats in different colours. I collected mine and without a second glance, left the sitting room.

When my father died, he left trust funds for all of us and in his will he wrote “I was laying a foundation for you. Don’t be like me because my actions were old school. Instead learn to save and invest wisely.”

LOVE AND DIAMONDS (EPISODE ELEVEN)

So this is it. I am so sorry for the long wait and absence. So I made this episode longer for wonderful people like you. I am sorry to announce that I will be going on a break because I will be starting my exam till after the Easter meaning np holiday for me but don't worry, when I come back, I will come back better. Thank you meanwhile enjoy today's episode.

KAINENE


I was in front of the mirror in my room consciously looking at the dress I had picked for the night. It was a new dress I had bought with Preye earlier in the  afternoon from the mall after I left Barrister Ademola’s office. I had a date with Raymond tonight just some hours before the trial. When Raymond called earlier, he sounded a bit over the edge. I tried to pry the reason out of him but he was not giving out anything except that we needed to talk and to celebrate our pending success tomorrow but I guessed it was more than just normal talk.

“You want to talk about something babe.” I had enquired.

“No Nene. I will be there at 6:45. I love you” He said and disconnected.


I shifted myself away from the mirror and turned to Amina who was lying on the bed, typing and laughing at the same time. I didn’t need to guess who she was chatting with. Her wedding to Eedris was in a month’s time and the whole house was already buzzing with activities. She had refused her parent’s decision to have the Nikkai in Kaduna and her fiancé had agreed with her.

“Amina”


“Hmm” She answered looking away from her phone to me.


“I am scared.” She was the first person I was admitting my fears to. I hadn’t thought about the consequences of losing the case though it had been tugging at my heart right after I left the lawyer’s chambers.


“Why?” she asked sitting up straight on the bed.


“I don’t know. Tomorrow decides my fate and I can’t help thinking about the outcome. What if something goes wrong?” I asked."

“Nothing is ever going to go wrong.Just be confident and tactfully answer any question you’re asked..” She said. “Why are we even talking about this?”


I shrugged and changed the topic. I didn’t want this to spoil my mood tonight. “How do I look?”


“Raymond wouldn’t know what hit him tonight. Make sure you have fun and don’t forget to discuss your fears with Ray, he is the best person to talk to.”


“Lots of practice with Eedris right?”


“Maybe. But I know I feel light headed after I talk to him.”


“I will try that tonight.” I said. I had spent a greater part of my life making decisions without consulting anybody not because I didn’t want to but because there was nobody to consult.   I know it sometimes pisses Ray off when I shut him out. I picked my purse from the table after I had checked myself again in front of the mirror and walked towards the door following Amina.


“Make sure you do.”

“Thanks Amina” I said giving her a smile as soon as we got to the front of my room. She hugged me instead. “Have fun and extend my regards to Raymond.”


I nodded after she pulled away. She went down the hallway towards her room while I went towards the staircase. The cool night breeze greeted me as soon as I opened the door. I wrapped the shawl tightly round my shoulders wondering why Ray didn’t come into the house like he usually does as I walked towards his favourite parking space where his car was parked right now. Raymond met me halfway to his car and enveloped me in a tight hug like he was trying to draw strength from me. His face buried deep into my neck. I wound my arms around his neck offering the best I could. I felt his chest beating erratically over mine. We were in that position for a while. When it seemed he wasn’t letting go of me in any distant moment, I said, “Ray” but he didn’t respond.


“Ray” I called again this time shaking him gently. He reluctantly pulled away.


“I am sorry Nene. Let’s go now. I made a reservation for 7:30.” He rambled off.


I tried searching his eyes but they were unreadable, they were guarded, his lips set in a tight line as he ran his hands over his hair. I knew Raymond was trying his best to suppress whatever emotion he was feeling now. He was an expert at concealing his emotions after shutting himself out from the rest of the world for two years after Olivia’s death.


I held my hands on top of his own when he was about to open the door to the passenger seat.
“Let me drive.”


“Why?”


“It is obvious something is bothering you even though you don’t want to share. I cannot allow you drive in this state of mind.”


“I am okay babe, I can drive us safely. It’s just a minor problem.”
He gave me a small smile.


“Are you sure it’s that minor? Because what you did now didn’t look minor to me at all.”


“Yes it is Kainene. Just drop it okay and let’s get the hell out of here.” He snapped at me. I raised an eyebrow dropping my hands beside my body and took a step backwards.


Realizing what he did, he came towards me and said, “I am sorry Nene” apologizing for the second time in the space of ten minutes. “I didn’t mean to say that. I am fine okay. Let’s go please before our food gets cold.” He said trying to lessen the tension between us.

RAYMOND

‘It was not alright at all’ I thought as I drove past the quiet streets of Wuse. The atmosphere in the car was a bit tense despite the fact that the air conditioner was on. Emeli Sande’s Clown was playing in the background. I took a glance at Nene but she had her face turned towards the window. I felt bad for snapping at her earlier. She was not to be a victim of my grumpiness tonight. I had allowed my emotions to get the better of me and those memories which I had successfully buried were now resurrecting one after the other.


Earlier today, I was visited by my past. I had taken a break from the work load on the table to calm my nerves and stood by the window overlooking the busy street over a glass of non-alcoholic wine. Startled by the noise of a human making an entrance into my office unannounced, I turned and there she was. My secretary was right behind on her heels,

 “I am sorry sir. I tried stopping her but …”

I waved her off. “You can go back to your office. I will handle this.” I said looking at the woman who had the power to regurgitate my breakfast. She nodded. I waited for her to leave and then turned to her who had already made herself comfortable on the exquisite brown sofa.

“What are you doing here Emmanuella?”

Emmanuella had one time been the only person that was able to drag me out of the grief that surrounded me after Olivia’s death .I had met her at a bar which had become my favourite place. We exchanged numbers, talked over alcohol and jumped into bed. Six months later she left without notice till now.
She stalled answering; instead she fiddled with the golden band of her Iphone 5.

“I asked you a question . "
     .”
“Well, I just came back into the country few days ago and decided to pay a visit to an old friend.”


“Old friend huh?”


“Yes. Last time I checked, it was not a crime to call on old friends. Before I forget, there is something you need to know.”


“What would that be? Everything we had ended four years ago when you left  without a word.”


“It didn’t end. I only chose to leave because I wasn’t ready to be the centre of attraction. I was carrying your daughter inside me and my father would have disowned me if he found out. What would people say if they found out I was carrying your child less than a year after your wife died? I left because of us and now I am back.”


I shook my head. “No! no! you are bluffing Emma. I cannot have a daughter with you. Its not just possible. We used protection throughout those times.”


“So you have forgotten the night we conceived our baby. The night you were so drunk and called me up by one y b to pick you and you were practically begging me to give you the shag of a life time when we got to my house.”


“What? That night was a mistake. I was vulnerable and needed comfort. You were not supposed to take advantage of a drunken helpless man. Were you not mature enough? Didn’t you think of the consequences?"

  " Clearly, I can remember you savoured every bit of it, begging for more. I came back to complete our little family with you and Naeto and your daughter has been dying to meet you.” She said and dialed a number on her phone.


“Hello, please give Moiré the phone”


“Mommy!” came a chirpy voice at the other end of the line. It was on loudspeaker.


“Hello baby, how are you?”


“Fine, mommy.”


“Do you want to speak to your daddy? He is right here with me.” She asked and handed the phone to me.


“Hello daddy, I want to see you.” The little girl at the other end spoke excitedly into the phone. I felt the colour drain from my face. It was true. I had a daughter somewhere. Somehow, I let the phone drop to the floor and the sound it made on landing the floor made me regain my composure and turn to Emmanuella who had already picked the phone from the floor. “I think you should just leave.”


She laughed humourlessly. "Your daughter is waiting for you and she needs you.” She said and picked up her bag and exited herself from my office.



Hearing Nene’s voice was enough to calm me down and stop me from destroying the gadgets in my office and now, I had just vented my anger on her. I turned to look at her but she was still in her former position. I felt her stiffen under my touch as I place my free hand on hers resting on her laps. She turned.


“Are we okay?” I asked moving my fingers over hers in hope I would get a positive response.

“Yes.”


 I smiled squeezing her hand and steered the gear towards Golden Waters.

KAINENE

Ray led the way into the posh and exclusive restaurant of Golden Waters Hotel. The hotel was the kind that the first thing you notice once you open the door was the beautiful chandelier hanging on top the ceiling. A corner of the room was the dining section and the left housed the bar. Furthermore into the restaurant was the VIP section where Ray and I were headed.. Somehow, we managed to put what happened earlier behind us. I told myself time will heal whatever that’s bothering Ray. He only does things when he wants to though he has a thing for being spontaneous. I was listening and laughing to what he was saying about spoiling me with food in an attempt to make me look more like an African woman and to keep me strong for tomorrow when I heard my name. I turned towards the source of the voice and there was Biola, my colleague. The last time I saw her was at the meeting with the Mogajis three weeks ago.


"Hi Biola" I said extending my arms for a handshake but got  a hug instead. I was taken aback by her gesture. I have never been on a friendship level with Biola. We only say a casual hello each time we see so the hug was something unusual but I hugged her back.


"How are you Kainene? We have really missed you in the department." She said with a sweetness  I have never associated her with.

               
"I missed you guys too and the kids." I replied with the same sweetness if not more. " So what's up in the department?"


"Well, news has it that Chief is planning to retire in two months time."


I nodded. He had told me himself.

 Won't you introduce me to this gorgeous hunk beside you?"


"Forgive my manners." I said slightly touching my forehead, careful not to ruin my make-up.

"Biola, this is Raymond; Ray, this is Biola"

"How are you Raymond? I didn't know Kainene has been hiding such a Nigerian Brad Pitt?"


"Probably because she wants me to herself."


I elbowed him lightly to Biola's amusement. He chuckled and wound his arms round my waist.


"You guys make such an amazing couple."


"Thank you." Ray replied.


"So the trial is tomorrow right?" She asked bringing up the dreaded topic.


"Yes Biola. Hopefully the burden will be lifted tomorrow and I can come back to work."

"Sure it will and we will be there to support you."

"Thanks Biola."

" Have   a lovely night" and with that she walked away.


# # # #

"She was the one that took over your files right?" Raymond asked as we sat on our table situated by the window arranging the napkins on our laps while waiting for the waiter who had gone to get our orders.



I nodded. Raymond took the hand I had dropped on the table admiring them like they were rare diamonds.  I felt a rush of blood down my spine at the contact.


"I like them. They are so soft." He said picking one finger massaging it softly for few seconds before moving to the next one. If only if he knew the effect his action had on me. He only stopped when the waiter returned with our orders. I withdrew my hand and tucked into the food before me. I settled for vanilla pannecotta as dessert while Ray went for sticky date pudding.



We toasted to success and love over a bottle of Chamdor wine. I confided in him my fears as Amina had suggested. He listened without interrupting; one of the things I love about the man sitting opposite me. He suggested I come over to his house.



 "No babe, I think it's better I stay at the house."


I decided to ask Raymond what was bothering him earlier but his only response was taking my hands, gazing into my eyes intently and then running his free hand along the length of my face. I waited for him to say something but he didn't.

 After what seemed like an eternity, he smiled and then said "Ease off Nene. You need to see the way your face looks right now." I smiled abashedly.



 "I don’t think anybody has fused over me like the way you do but that’s one of the things I love about you. You can be such a mother hen but hey, this guy is not that old to be mothered and I like it when you do that.”

I pouted.


“I am good you can see and I just had a lovely dinner with the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, witty and loyal woman who wouldn't mind if I ask her to be  
Mrs Nwachukwu." He said producing a small box engraved Harry Winston. He opened it to reveal a platinum band     with  a 5 carat emerald diamond stone at the  centre.  It was beautiful.


I gasped. I knew Raymond  could't think I am ready to take the bold step.


 I love Raymond. I love everything about him, the way his face lights up whenever he sees me or we make eye contact, the little gestures like the gifts he sends every now and then. I wondered how he got to know about my cravings for chocolates and never missed delivering a box of my favourite every week. I love the way he adores his son and when we kiss, I feel fireworks go off in my head and I literally forget where I am and when we end it, it only leaves wanting for more. He is a good father, brother and son though I am yet to meet his mum and sisters and I have no doubt he will make a good husband too but I am not ready.




 I was about to tell him this when suddenly his mobile vibrated on the table. He picked it up with his free hand and spoke into the speaker. He ended the call three minutes later. He had a gloomy expression on his face. His jaw had dropped and the lines on his face were visible. His facial expression resembled that of a wounded lion.

"Ray, what's the matter?"


"Nene, they have escaped." I felt myself sink ten times deeper into an ocean.

WORDS FOR YOU

You want a better Nigeria
You scream a better Nigeria
You want a cleaner Nigeria
You want a fresher Nigeria
You claim to be a patriotic Nigerian
You blame the government of Nigeria
Yet you do not do your own part
You drink sachet water
You dump the wrapper on the street
You take the mixture of sugar and water called Ice-
cream
You drop the wrap on the floor
Yet you complain of a dirty Nigeria
Are you not a hypocrite?
You give people money to write your exams
You settle your lecturers with kola
You destroy the seats provided in classrooms
You are late for lectures
Your neck elongates during exams
You pass the exams
You go or service, you pass out
You are employed
You are incompetent
You complain of unemployable graduates when
you're not one your self
Who is to blame?
Who is to be held responsible?
Your tongue becomes gagged as you think of the
answers
Be the change you want to see in Nigeria

LOVE AND DIAMONDS ( EPISODE TEN)

 

RAYMOND

WE were all in Chris house on a certain Thursday night. Nene was resting her head on my shoulders, her palms on her knees. She looked withdrawn tonight. The whole situation was taking its toll on her. She was getting leaner by the day though I had pleaded with her to take it easy. Chris and Preye were sprawled on the floor working on their laptops. Amina and Eedris were also there. I had met the latter on two previous occasions.  Brad was also there scribbling on a notepad. Nene’s meeting had not gone as we had all expected. The atmosphere in the room was dull. Our minds were working very fast, planning, plotting and scheming. A date for the trial had been set. We needed a plan that would exculpate Nene and bring the real perpetrators of that act to justice.Eedris had made a call to a certain person yet to arrive.

 

 

Ademola Esq arrived twenty minutes later. He looked very young, dressed in a t-shirt and black jeans with a baseball cap on his head; he looked nothing like the man I was expecting. After the exchange of pleasantries, he went straight to business.

 

“Eedris had given me a brief description of the situation but I need you Ka-kain-ne, well I am sorry, I am not Igbo”

 

“Miss Meludu.” Nene interjected.

 

“Okay. So I need to speak to you privately so we can begin work immediately. From what I heard from the news, the Mogajis intend having you behind bars for life.”

 

I felt Nene shiver under my arms at the words of the lawyer. “Tell him everything” I said to her as she stood up to follow the learned gentleman to Chris’ study.

 

 

KAINENE

 

Chris and Preye finally got access into the hospital’s CCTV cameras that were installed two months earlier in the pediatrics section. Nobody had thought about that, not even the security men at the hospital. After several hours of carefully studying the tapes, we found a lead. Brad had come with his team and together they went into Chris study to hatch a plan leaving the ladies out. Preye protested, “Guys not funny. Are we not supposed to be involved?” She asked making her way through to stand in front of them.

 

“It is dangerous to be involved.” Brad responded in a brief serious tone.

 

“But this is just the preliminary stage and besides we are all adults here.”

 

“Yes, but then it is safer keeping you guys out for now.” Chris said pulling her to himself. Amina and I exchanged a knowing look. A continuous shake of the head and a contorted face proved that Preye was definitely not heeding to whatever Chris was saying to her.

 

“If you guys are planning to move into the lion’s den, how do you intend to achieve that? There are some plans you need a woman to execute. Do you think you can underestimate the power of a woman in those plans?’

She drawled the last sentence, her hands cupping Chris’ face and tracing her fingers along the length of his face.

 ‘My brother is in for it’ I thought.

 

 

He seemed to think then said, ‘okay.’

Dropping her hands from where they had been some seconds ago, she said “Let’s go”, and made her way to the door.

 

“Geez, you won’t kill me Preye” Chris muttered under his breath.

 

“Someone is falling rea-ally despe-ra-tely. I said to my brother who had a grin on his face. “Why don’t we just stay back here? I think it is preferable than getting muddled up in the study.” I suggested.

********************

 

RAYMOND

 

The trial was in sixty-four hours. It was a few minutes past seven pm on a Friday. Nene, Preye, Chris and I were in my car waiting for Brad and his team to arrive. Ten minutes later, he arrived with two of his friends and Friday in a dirty white van that had seen better days but it was equipped with all the gadgets we needed for our plan. Friday was a lanky dark fellow from one of the oil-producing states, a sergeant in the Nigerian Police force who had given us the identity of the man we needed. The CCTV  cameras happened to have a given a clear view of our suspect’s side view which was marred by a deep scar running  from his left temple down to his left chin. Friday had pleaded anonymity after giving Brad the details of the suspect and was reluctant to follow him but after much cajoling and the mention of monetary sum which had his cheeks burning up agreed to take us to Kuje.

 

The drive to Kuje took us approximately one hour since there was less traffic on the road. Friday who had driven my car stopped some yards to an uncompleted building in what looked like an estate.

 

“We go stop here. Na the house be that.” He said turning back. Brad came to the car.

 

 

“I hope we can still remember our roles? We really need to pull this off. These guys are very notorious and have evaded previous attempts to have them brought to justice. We need to be alert and smart if we don’t want to leave this place empty handed. Okay?”

 

 

We nodded. “Are you girls ready?” He turned to Preye and Nene. They affirmed with a nod. They were to play the role of call girls. They were dressed in corsets and short skirts that displayed a voluminous amount of skin, cowboy shoes, purple hair extensions and heavy makeup plastered on their faces. They looked every bit like the characters they we about to portray. I gave Nene a small squeeze on her hand. She returned the squeeze and left the car. We watched as they made their way into the building.

 

 

KAINENE

 

 

I could not believe I was acting as a call girl. Having only acted once in primary school, this was a whole new and exciting adventure. I had been anticipating this moment since the day Brad said we were going to play the roles. Preye and I sauntered slowly to the house carefully observing our surroundings and at the same time mentally rehearsing our roles. We were stopped by two men holding bottles of Brandy when we got to the house.

 

“Did Madam Booty send you?” the taller of the two asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

Preye understood what he meant while I was still wondering who goes by the name madam booty. ‘Quite an unusual name.’ I thought.

 

“Yea baby.” She purred moving towards him, battling her eyelashes flirtatiously. She placed her hands on his shoulders, stooped down and went up and then twirled around him. He was fascinated by her antics. She wrapped her arms around him and then they walked into the building.

 

I put on my best sultry look, sensually swaying my hips rhythmically, I walked towards the other man and copying Preye’s actions, we entered into the building. we got to a sparsely furnished room poorly lit occupied already by a handsome young man save for the large scar running from his temple down to his chin clutching a bottle of unfinished brandy. He was sitting on a chair in front of a table that accommodated  different bottles of alcohol and cigarettes. I could recognize him from the video clip I had seen so many times in the last fourty-eight hours. Jaiye jaiye by wizkid was playing from a music box at theright corner of the room. We were in the right place and if we played our cards right, we would be out of here in less than thirty minutes.

 

“See these babes wey Madam Booty come arrange for us, na confirm babes be this o.” the taller man whose name was Drew said in excitement as he rubbed his chin, undressing us with his eyes.

 

The man sitting down nodded his head in approval. “Turn around girls.” We obeyed. He nodded again.

 

“Dance for me.”  He said relaxing back on his seat to watch us. We danced moving our bodies provocatively to the rhythm of the music. Halfway into the second song, the shorter man Sektor joined us on the makeshift dance floor. We continued dancing this time to a much faster song. Five minutes later, Preye walked out of the room with Sektor. I was left with Drew and Tarzan, the man who was sitting some minutes ago, joined us on the dance floor still clutching the bottle of brandy and gulping the contents at intervals. Preye came in three minutes later alone, her eyes dancing mischievously.  The dancing became frenzy. We paired ourselves. I was dancing with Tarzan who had his hands on my rear with one hand in an attempt to mould us together. Preye showcased her innate talent which was dancing as she moved with Drew. Her partner was enchanted but he was able to keep up with her speed.

 

 

We knew the men were very much drunk. We did not want our plans to flop so we danced for some five minutes and then launched our plan.  Drawing out syringe containing diazepam from our shoes and gathering much courage, we injected the whole shot on their neck. It was a matter of seconds before Tarzan became limp on my arms, the bottle of brandy shattering into pieces as it hit the floor.

 

As if on cue, Brad and his men entered the building. Preye and I were relieved of the men. The men had their hand and feet bound and carried into the van where they were going to be interrogated. Chris and Raymond were waiting for us when we got to the car.

 

“That was so cool.” Preye exclaimed as soon as Friday drove out the area.

 

I snorted. “Was not cool at all Preye. Those guys were oozing out atomic weapons capable of mass destruction. The whole place was nauseating. I am just happy at the end, we achieved something.”

 

“At least, I exercised my body.”

 

“Exactly, as you were busy planting yourself on him exhibiting your dancing skills.”

 

“Still, I didn’t lose focus mademoiselle.”

 

“Yea right.” I replied.

 

“Anyways, you guys shouldn’t pull of your clothes when we get to the house. I need to put your pictures on my BBM. You chicks are looking so …”

 

“Pervert.” We shouted not allowing him to finish his sentence as Preye went for his head while I hit him on his shoulders.”

 

“Girls take it easy now. Is a bad thing to admire nature? A guy got to appreciate good things.”

 

“Tell me about it Chris.” Preye said.

 

“Yes now, good thing good for man naw.” Friday concurred with Chris.

 

“Who is this one? biko, face the road jare.” I said to him.

 

“Hey, take your eyes off my girlfriend.” Raymond said and then turning to me, “Babe, I wouldn’t mind a picture too.”

 

“Senior pervert. I can’t believe you just said that Raymond.” I said shaking my head in disbelief even though I knew he didn’t mean what he said.

 

He shrugged and unexpectedly hauled me onto his lap pulling me close to him.Preye and Chris seemed to be in their own little world. The remaining drive back to the house was spent in silence except for the occasional whistling by Friday.

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AN EXCITING ENCOUNTER WITH FLYING MONSTERS

So last Saturday, I went to an outdoor function with the Legionaries(Legion of Mary). It had started on a good note. Well, after the initial hassles with the driver popularly called ‘ticket’ by my hostel mates(the man is in love with asking for bus tickets before entering the bus), we finally got into the bus and ventured on a journey to the unknown(well, I would say that because we had never been to Owerre-Ezukala until last Saturday). We were excited. We sang praises and finally prayed the rosary. The guys behind me had so much energy that they talked throughout the journey. Not only did they talk, they sang songs ranging from high school musicals to some other songs I didn’t know the origin. I just busied myself with reading stories on wattpad, tweeting and pinging from my phone and then listening to music. We passed towns like Nibo, Ufuma, Isulo, Awgbu and the popular rich and beautiful town of Ndikelionwu from Chukwuemeka Ike’s The bottled Leopard. After driving for two hours, we finally got to the town of Owerre-Ezukala. Getting to the town, we began a second journey. We drove into the village for about thirty minutes before we got to a dusty inaccessible road. We had to get down from the bus, carrying our food, drinks and other items; we trekked for a total of fourty-five minutes before we got to the entrance of the cave. Some people dropped their things and began to take pictures at the entrance of the cave. As for me, the curiosity to find out what the inside looked like made me not the bother with the pictures plus the fact that my phone didn’t have a good camera quality.

 

The cave was underground, so we had to go through sloppy, uneven and rugged steps that numbered above one hundred to get to the main cave/waterfall. It was very scary. Missing a step would have been fatal because the edge of each step meant falling into a ditch. I finally got there. It was wonderful. Seeing water cleaner than the bore hole water we buy falling from the top of the cave, the river and then walking farther was a sandy area big enough to accommodate  more than three hundred persons(fact). To my greatest surprise, the DJ was already there spicing the whole place up with cool music blasting from the speakers. I moved my body to the rhythm of the music while moving to explore the whole place. I entered the main cave 1. It was creepily very dark. I took some pictures with my friend and with the help of my torch, I moved further but at a point, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I turned back and left the cave. Out there, I saw a lot of my classmates, we chatted, took pictures before I left again to another place at the back of cave 1. I will call the place cave 2. Not many people had the courage to go there. I dragged my friend Cympero with me. It was farther than cave 1 and we had to climb up to get there. Cave 2 was more beautiful than cave 1. It was underground and had many entrances. God is so wonderful. We were there for thirty minutes, climbing, taking pictures, chatting about the amazing beauty of nature, watching people exhibit the trait of jungle genes in them.

All of a sudden, we heard screams, thinking that those over there in cave 1 were having fun because the pageantry for Mr and Miss Legion was about to begin before we left to cave 2 , we ran. On getting there, there were monsters in the form of bees. Obviously, someone must have disturbed them in their habitat. People were screaming, fighting off the bees on their bodies and what we failed to realize at that time was that we only needed to be calm and the bees wouldn’t be able to sting. Chasing them away will only make them come back and the worse was killing them, the smell of that would only attract more bees. Also, the fear of seeing the bees was more than the fear of having the bees sting us. Unfortunately for us, those in cave 1 were now running to where we were bringing the bees with them. I got stung by one while running. The pain was severe. I learnt my lesson. I became calm after that and was not visited again by the flying monsters. An hour later, the screams reduced. We didn’t know that evacuation had started in cave 1. We started reciting the rosary calling our mother Mary for help. Fifteen minutes later, some people who managed to get out of the cave came to us and told us there was a way out of the cave. We climbed atop dangerous stones and rocks and finally got to the top of the cave and walked another fifteen minutes into the forest to finally leave the forest.

Stories that came later were that due to the stampede, some people eventually fell into the ditch, many sustained injuries and some had their faces swollen from the stinger, arms, legs, neck and other parts of the body. Not only lives were saved, our food and drinks were also ‘evacuated’  by some good and courageous Nigerians who covered themselves in black and made trips over and over again back into the cave. Luckily, we all made it back to the hostel alive by the grace of God. We carried our food back with us and by the time we were able to eat it, it was already going sour but what could we do, man must wack now, we still ate the food to our satisfaction.

 

 Important lesson I learnt was ‘do not go to where you were not invited.’ Also, young people are very unpredictable; possibly, someone out of curiosity had gone to the bee hive and started throwing stones there. When I went back to my room, I thought, ‘What if something worse than bees had come out, maybe python or lion because from what we heard from the villagers, there was so many dangerous animals who had their home in Owerre-Ezukala cave? What if …?’ I repeat, God is so so so wonderful and I can’t stop being grateful to him. Also, our Blessed Virgin Mary to whom we had called for help did not relent in coming to our rescue. This event wouldn’t stop me from going for more functions like this. I have a story to tell and I won’t stop telling this story. It was an experience. Advice to young people like me: do not spend your youth without having stories to tell when you get old. Join in trips, excursions and picnics. Life is too short.